First Show Appearance: To Mock a Killing Bird Played by: Debbie Smith
Svetlana, a Russian urologist, was born in the Urals. She came to the United States during the Warm War, a little-known, short-lived era in the 1980's. Although she specializes in urinary tract disorders, she is also credited with the invention of the forerunner of Depends, Independpants. Unfortunately, the product was pulled from the market after the disastrous ad campaign featuring the phrase, "Show your Independpants!", encouraging bladder-challenged seniors to do just that. Svetlana now quietly resides in a corner of Corner, Alabama with her 35 cats.