First Show Appearance: To Mock a Killing Bird Played by: Julie Steward
Volcano surfing and nude spelunking are his hobbies. He plays jai alai. So does his mustache. He observed a solar eclipse with his naked eyes from the Lanikai Beach rooftop Jacuzzi of a Panamanian strongman. He is The Brawny Man.
A paragon of machismo, The Brawny Man has the strength to get things done. Whether he is mopping up a meth lab kitchen mess or winning combine harvester demolition derbies, this champion sink wiper and log roller lives to deride the absorbency of Sparkle and Viva products.
After considering such names as Lance Flexico and Powers Boothe, his parents settled upon his legal, given name: The Brawny Man. When he isn’t delivering a butt whoopin’ to splashes and sticky residues, TBM takes mancations and makes manly mix-tapes from the soundtracks of Rambo, Casino Royale, and Apocalypse Now. Women love him. Spilled milk cries over itself in his presence.