First Show Appearance: George Foreman presents ETC Cruise! Played by: Douglas O'Neil, Jr.
Born in London, Captain Smythe first fell in love with the ocean while training for the rowing team at Duke's College Elkstout-on-Sea. After graduating, he signed on with international passenger cruise magnate George Foreman as the First Mate on the former's flagship, S.S. Intoxicon, under Captain H. Wellington Finkworth III. Finkworth, though senile, saw great potential in the young Smythe and began grooming him to helm his own vessel. In 2004, Smythe was selected to captain the new S.S. Bunwarmer despite his distaste for people he thinks might be government agents – a paranoia passed on from his mentor.